What is relationship?
The red roses and the pink candies and a racing heart. Are you feeling these? Most of us tend to relate relationships as romantic relationships. Relationship is something where two or more people are connected by blood or a bond that they form between themselves. There are family relationships, friend relationships, love relationships, etc. The relationship is developed by spending more time with the other person and getting to know them better. The major essence of a good relationship is communicating what each wants to communicate. We must be able to put forward what we want the other person to know. Communicating with each other can help people be closer and the bond becomes stronger. When people don’t communicate properly there a lot of chances that misunderstandings might arise.
Types of relationship
How many types of romantic relationships do you think might exist? When you are in love you tend to feel there is only one type of relationship, well Sternberg formulated a triangle theory of love. This triangle consists of 3 main components which are intimacy, passion and commitment. With these 3 components he came up with 7 types of relationship. These are discussed below.
Empty Love: There is only one component present in this which is commitment. You have been married or cohabiting for a long time and still verbally proclaim your love for each other, but admit to having lost much of the emotional connectedness, as well as the sexual desire that you once had.
Infatuation: The component that is present in this type is passion, the components commitment and intimacy are missing. You have a strong sexual drive and a need for physical and romantic contact with each other, but do not feel very close to each other. You have not planned for your future together, and in fact have not even thought about any form of long-term commitment.
Liking: Similar to empty love and infatuation, liking also only one component which is Intimacy. You have been together for only a couple of months, and although you feel you have become close and are connected emotionally, you have yet to become passionately involved or think about your commitment.
Companionate Love: This is a combination of commitment and Intimacy the passion in the relationship might not be present. You have been together several years, still feel very close and connected emotionally, but do always feel the same passion toward one another as you once did.
Fatuous Love: This is a combination of passion and commitment. You have been together for while and are planning on staying together. You continue to maintain healthy and satisfying sex life, but say you do not feel very connected where emotion is concerned.
Romantic Love: The romantic love consists of the components and intimacy. You are in love and have a strong sexual desire for one another, are very and connected emotionally, but have yet to discuss any future plans would include a decision to commit only to each other.
Consummate Love: This is the type that consists of all components- commitment, passion and intimacy. After more than six years together, you are “in love” as ever. You remain close and connected, very sexually romantically in sync, and are completely committed to each other and your relationship.
People will not stay only in one type of relationship, as time goes by they might see some changes and experience a different type. For example, if a couple feels that their relationship type is empty love, eventually as time goes by and they spend more time together they realise that their relationship type has now changed to compassionate love or fatuous love. This is never stable as people might feel differences in how they feel in a relationship depending on various factors.
We keep ourselves healthy physically so that we stay strong. Similarly it is important to maintain a healthy relationship with people you care about. Few tips to maintain a healthy relationship are as follows:
Being yourself: you feel comfortable around the person you’re dating. Changing yourself to please someone else won’t work in the long run and can frustrate your friends and family, so it’s important to be yourself.
Honesty: you feel comfortable talking about things in the relationship, including problems or concerns.
Good communication: you discuss things that are important to you or your relationship. You ask each other what you’re thinking and feeling and you listen to each other.
Respect: you respect and support each other, and listen to each other’s concerns. It’s important to treat yourself with respect and say no to things that make you uncomfortable.
Feeling safe: if you feel threatened in any way, you’re not in a healthy relationship. Feeling safe is both emotional and physical. It’s important to know that your partner won’t try to hurt your feelings or your body.
Trust: trust is about being able to count on someone. It’s about believing that someone will be honest with you and follow through on their promises. When you trust someone, you know that they’ll support you and look out for you. You have each other’s best interests at heart.
Equality: equality keeps relationships safe and fair. For example, being equal in a relationship means sharing the power, not bossing each other around. Equality can also mean sharing the effort. If you text or call your partner often, but they don’t seem to have time for you, your relationship may be unequal.
Support: support is about feeling cared for and respected. In healthy relationships, people listen to each other, help out with problems and show support morally.
Relationships are not always a bed of roses. There are many who try to give in all their effort though they feel that this is not the right relationship for them. It is always better not to get into an unhealthy relationship. A few things that show that you are in an unhealthy relationship are as follows:
Physical abuse: your partner pushes you, hits you or destroys your things.
Control: your partner tells you what to do, what to wear or who to hang out with. They constantly check up on you or use threats (for example, to harm you or themselves) to make you do things.
Humiliation: your partner calls you names, puts you down or makes you feel bad in front of others.
Unpredictability: your partner gets angry easily and you don’t know what will set them off. You feel like you’re walking on eggshells.
Pressure: your partner pushes you to do things you don’t want to do or aren’t ready for, including sex or using drugs and alcohol. They don’t take “no” for an answer and they use threats or ultimatums.
Be it any type of relationship, you need to know your own self value and put yourself first. Don’t force yourself into maintaining a good relationship, you can put in your effort and go with the flow of the relationship that you are in.